How to not use straight razor

15 Nov

Day 13 of 30 for Movember and it’s time to clean up my face with a lesson on how to use a straight razor.

It actually turned into a tutorial of how NOT to use a straight razor since I cut myself pretty fiercely…all in the name of Movember. This video is not for those that hate blood.

Here is the end product:

The Styptic Pencil is my go-to choice for stopping the bleeding.This is a short, white stick of medicine. Anhydrous aluminium sulfate is the main ingredient and it stops the blood from flowing out of your body. The stick is applied directly to the bleeding site.

Here are some pros:

  • Stops the bleeding of small nicks immediately
  • The pain make me feel alive
  • Seals skin surface to help prevent infection
  • you don’t have to stick tiny pieces of toilet paper on your face
  • it’s cheap at $3, which will last you for years of shaving, even if you’re really bad it and cut yourself daily

And the cons:

  • It hurts for a quick second…flinching might occur (see video)
  • it tastes like if an onion farted, and trust me, it gets in your mouth
  • it leaves a white residue on your face that people will stare at if you don’t wash off

I feel the pros easily outweigh the cons for this product, which is why I’ve been using it for the past 15 years. However, the appeal of pain is not for everyone.

Want to go a more expensive and less painful route? It’s not for me, but some dudes like an aftershave balm like this one. You still spread it on your face the same way, but it won’t make you scream like a little girl.

Best advise: don’t use a straight razor unless you have to carve out silly shit on your face.

Please donate to my Movember campaign. I would love to shout your name in my next video.

New World Record for Most Double Toe Touches

10 Nov

Day 8 of 30 for Movember. I was feeling a bit tight today in my back and while I was stretching, I though about my ability to do a double toe touch. Then I wondered “what is the world record for double toe touches?”

So when I Googled it I came across an ex-cheerleader that SEOed the fuck out of her video when she did 30 in one minute. Even though she didn’t touch her toes, her effort was impressive. She had a goal and worked for over a year to achieve it, and then she nailed it.

It got me thinking I should own a world record. I’m a good athlete and I have a mustache. Mustached men aren’t really known for athletic ability, minus a few Hall of Fame pitchers like Rollie Fingers and every boxer in the 1920’s.

So I set out to break the record for most double toe touches by a guy with a question mark mustache. You can see it here.

Shortly after I set the world record with one toe touch, I decided I need more. I set out to do multiple and shattered the record…along with my back. I pulled something terrible and am now limping around with a constant diet of IBprofin, ice, and Tiger Balm. 

Since I’m now in my mid-thirties, I will get huge injuries from doing small, stupid shit like this every so often. I’ve always been a big Tiger Balm fan during my days of playing a lot of baseball and dealing poker, but Biofreeze has recently taken the lead in my book. Mostly because it comes in a spray bottle and I don’t have to get that stench of fire off my hands when I rub in the balm.

The most important lesson here is to make sure you are listening to your body. Taking preventative measures like going to see a doctor is always a much better alternative to fixing yourself after your broken. Make sure you see that doctor at least once a year in the name of Movember. Please donate to my Movember campaign. I would love to shout your name in my next video.

Movember Day 5 – The Squatty Potty Review

6 Nov

Day 5 of 30 for Movember. This stubble is ready to become a caterpillar on my face. I also have a quick plug for my Squatty Potty review I did last year.

There are few things I am more proud of than my Squatty Potty review. Yes, kids, wife, Marines…blah blah. This is the greatest review I’ve ever done, so it’s time I re-shared it with the world. Text is cheap, watch the video:

Please donate to my Movember campaign. I would love to shout your name in my next video.

Transcript from the video:

Day 5 and this stubble is itching to get cocoon into a beautiful caterpillar. I know that’s not how nature normally works, but it’s going to work for me.

Today I want to tell you about Movember’s amazing price match offer by Mastercard.  If you donate to my campaign just $25, if you pay with Mastercard, Mastercard will match that donation. That’s clutch for making your donate go even further. Make sure you use my link below to donate to my campaign

Today’s video is brought to you by Squatty potty. Make sure you are shitting with Squatty Potty review. I love this product. It slides right under your toilet seat when you are done. It elevates your feet and helps you take a more effective poop. Helps that colon out. Prevent that cancer, that is what it is all about. I can not be positive that Squatty Potty actually prevents cancer, but I know it is not hurting it. That is their new tagline “Squatty Potty, not creating cancer.”

So for a full Squatty potty review, I have done extensive research over the years about shitting, so please go check out the full review here and feel better about the way you poop.

That’s it for me folks. Happy birthday Mom! Movember!

 

Movember Day 3 – The Stubble is Real

4 Nov

It’s day three of the 30 days of Movember and the stubble is real. I wouldn’t wish this rough face on my worst enemies. Yet, I still put on a surprise sandpaper smooch storm on my daughter #flankmaneuver

Today’s video is a throwback to Movember 2016, the year that my dad past away. In an effort to give Movember meaning to my company, I poured my heart out in the name of Movember. This video explains why I’m so dedicate to spread the good word; it’s a little longer than most at 6+ minutes, but it’s worth it, I promise:

I had a special cameo from a buddy Brian today, who hooked me up with today’s sponsor The Weener Cleaner. It’s a fine product that I have personally used, even though it’s a gag gift and perfect for white elephant gift at Christmas. For legal reasons, I’m not allowed to do an official review (this is a family blog).

Please donate to my Movember campaign. I would love to shout your name in my next video.

The Best Safety Razor Review with a 30 Seconds Shave

1 Nov

I’m on a mission to find the best safety razor on the market. Today I’m reviewing the Schick Hydro 5.

Here’s the deal: I shave VICIOUSLY for 30 seconds in my quest to find the best safety razor a guy can shave with. I have very gruff beard and 2 days worth of stubble. When I used the Schick Hydro 5, had no gushing blood, only 2 minor cuts, and the shave was pretty good. Here are some action shots:

Results were good:

Minimal casualties:

 

You can watch the full video here:

So why shave my face so fast? All in the name of Movember, who is the leading charity changing the face of men’s health…by putting mustaches on faces every November to raise awareness and donations. I got involved with Movember years before my dad past away from cancer, but their message and passage helped me heal. #Movember is addressing some of the biggest health issues faced by men: prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and mental health and suicide prevention.

Please donate to my Movember campaign here.

I donate all commissions from this blog post to Movember, so please do your American duty and buy using the links I provide below.

Keep her off the pole shirt:
I designed it myself since my main goal in life is to keep my daughter off the pole.

I’ll be doing more reviews of some of the industry’s best safety razors on the market in the upcoming months. Why safety razors? Because if I tried shaving with a disposable single blade, my face would be pure ripped off and I would bleed to death before the video even finished. If you are still shaving with a single blade, get with the times man! PSSSSS it’s 2018, you don’t need to hurt your face every day for no reason. Get The Schick Hydro 5:
17 blades & a handle for $27 dollar is an AWESOME deal. 

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