I Need to Poop – Squatty Potty is a Game Changer

13 Sep

I need to poopI need to poop on the daily & I do not fear the porcelain throne because my pooping game is strong.

I reckon if you are reading this, you are looking to take your pooping game to the next level when you need to poop. Your search is over; The Squatty Potty is the game changer you are looking for. This post will explain how Squatty Potty makes every poop an opportunity to improve your day. But first, here’s a quick instructional video:

Squatty Potty hit my radar when it aired on Shark Tank in 2014. I’m a sucker for a good Shark Tank product and I was instantly sold. No other Shark Tank product has made more of an impact on my life than the Squatty Potty. Top three reason I use Squatty Potty: health benefits, speed, and cleanliness.

Health Benefits

This aspect is was an immediate hook. I never felt comfortable sitting on the toilet, so when I watched my first educational video on the topic, it just made sense. I was amazed at how much better I felt getting off the toilet. All the straining and pushing I did throughout my life was wasted effort. Once I started using the Squatty Potty, I had an immediate feeling of true relief in my lower intestine. Don’t just take my word for it though; check out this viral video of a prince that eats unicorn poop:

If you need more of a scientific approach than a asshole prince and a mythical creature, Squatty Potty also has 3 case studies documenting how squatting while you poop will assist your body to remove more waste and at a faster rate.

Poop Easier and Faster

My old man always told me “shit or get off the pot!” Although it was a metaphor to get moving in life, I have always taken his words literally. I don’t like sitting on the toilet for extended periods of time. When I need to poop, I sit down, I poop, I leave (I even wash my hands sometimes). To this day, I still don’t understand why people want to spend any more time than the absolute minimum in a cloud of stank. You can look at your phone when you get off the pot.

You might have noticed the metric in the video of squatting helping you cut your poop time in half. This has been extremely true in my experience and naturally my favorite feature. Here is the metric in case you want to imprint with that unicorn again.


Just FYI, when I need to poop, my AST is 22 seconds #humblebrag. That’s a 87% decrease in times spent on the toilet (according to a statistic I just made up). So what will you do with all your time saved? Maybe you can start your own shitty blog!

Poop Cleaner

Without going into graphic detail, just recognize that squatting help open up your buttchecks and creates much less mess to wipe. But why even wipe when you can get the cleanest feeling possible with the Squatty Potty Refresh-it Bidet.


I jumped on the DIY bidet train years ago when my buddy mentioned it as “life changing.” I was skeptical, but after trying it myself just once, I was sold. This made all the poop hiding in my crack disappear. Instead of wiping an average of 8 times, you spray the bidet for 15 second and then wipe once to get the water out of your crack.

Installation is easier than you think too. I set up mine in less than 15 minutes.

In Closing

Could you just stack books or use a step stool in replacement? Sure…assuming you are into owning shitty things that you want to leaving next to the toilet or always look for when you need to poop. Or, you could invest $25 and buy an item that fits conveniently under your toilet for storage and is always there for you when you need to poop at the professional level.

Godspeed on the toilet!


Check out my quick shout out in my new video here.

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